#2

Two in one day? I must be emotional.

The best way to describe tonight's experience is this: I have a hole in my heart and soul. This hole will always be there, I will always be able to feel it, but as more time passes, the hole becomes more natural. Like I was born with it. Like a piercing, the hole will stay there but the wound heals over. Tonight's fireworks went straight through the hole and all the way through me. It took my breath away, and I didn't know if it was a good thing or bad thing. The part that confuses me most is that I can't decide if I never ever want to go back again or if I will never miss a single year until I die. Part of me looks at the closure portion of this specific event, and part of me never wants to let go of the tradition. I'm not so sure I can ever watch fireworks and be happy at the same time for the rest of my life. At least, that's how I feel right now.