Where are you Christmas?

If I hear one more person complain about the 'stress' or 'inconvenience' that Christmas is causing them, I'm going to put a candy cane in their butt, lock them in a room, and blare Christmas music in their ears until they throw up. Much like Thanksgiving, I'm very agrivated about the fake-ness and lack of sincerity. On top of that, Christmas has brought on a new topic to bitch about. Too much traffic, gas prices are up, stores are too crowded, 45 minutes in the check out line, not knowing what to buy for family, not enough time to cook, not enough money, not enough time off work, too much Christmas music, people are grouchy, etc. I've heard just about everything in the last month. I've even considered that maybe these feelings I have are because I'm jealous. Jealous that these people have so little to complain about, or jealous that there are people out there who are tickled and thrilled about Christmas. I really don't think that's the case. I can walk around Walmart for 30 minutes and feel bad for people because they are so unhappy to be Christmas shopping or just shopping in general. I'm thankful that these factors may be the worst they have to complain about, but it frustrates me that they don't realize that like I do. Day before Christmas Eve, and I'm trying very hard to feel the Christmas. There isn't Christmas at my house. Sure, there's presents and a tree. But there's no Christmas. There's no teasing him to guess what I bought him, and there's no sneaking presents in to the house to hide them. I won't even be there for Christmas. If you're reading this and thinking 'but you only spent one Christmas there, so it can't be that big of a change' (and yes, I've had these remarks), then you clearly haven't been paying attention. I might throw you in the category of 'ignorant' as well.

To those of you full of Christmas spirit, I applaud you. Holding on to that strength, hope, and joy in a world full of Scrooges is not easy, but its right. From you, I find great strength. It fills part of that big hole I feel in my soul. Christmas, like happiness, no longer comes naturally for me. It takes great effort and energy. Being in a happy environment encourages these feelings to come back, and I don't have to try so hard.