5 o'clock

If I'm going to feel like I'm drowning (which is a pretty accurate depiction of my feelings this week) I'd really rather margaritas be involved. My mother in law agrees, and my father in law is in Cancun. Its fate, right? I'm practically obligated to enjoy myself this evening!

I write this as if people are reading it. I know that isn't true but a mere handful of my family. Funny, but in the beginning I had thousands of views within 12 hrs of posting this. Now I'm down to maybe 5 a day? Its not about the attention. This does prove, though, that the world expects 'quick quick quick, get over it because its uncomfortable'. I feel like I've reached a point where I'm still uncomfortable, and that is making others uncomfortable because they aren't uncomfortable anymore. I'm not talking about my immediate family, but others at work, in the community, in the store, etc. Its an interesting transition to go from the center of everyone's attention and the latest gossip to people trying to avoid me and sweep me under a rug because I'm uncomfortable to be around. As if I wasn't lonely enough losing my husband, it feels that the rest of the non-grieving world is against me. Bummer, dude.