I'm not hungry; I'm physically aching from thinking about my life in the last year. It is literally making me sick to think about the tragedy and unfairness and loneliness I've felt. There aren't even words to describe it. I ache physically and emotionally from the fear of my future that I constantly hold. I'm tired because I can't think of anything else but 'what is going to happen to me?' I'm exhausted. I'm dumbfounded (the first time I typed that word, it said 'dumbofounded'...hehe). I'm angry. And the worst of it, I'm lonely. Just the thought makes a lump in my throat and my eyes get teary. I have the best support system that anyone could ask for, but that doesn't fix it. No matter how many times I go out to the bar, go to a movie, go for a run, pray, read, meditate...it's all done with a tone of loneliness. Nothing fixes it, and I'm still fucking lonely.
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