Quote of today: "Its easy to say 'God needed another angel' when he didn't ask for yours back." It's so easy to scream back "No, he didn't. He was perfectly fine here with me where we had an amazing life together. What good is he in heaven when I need him so badly here." Stating that God has another angel or he's with God now does little to console grief. Its not good enough. My human mind is not capable of understanding Godly matters (hence, the concept of faith). I haven't made it to the part of healing where I can accept that he's happy elsewhere. It's like a slap in the face to me. Trying to convince me that someone is better off with God than here with me does nothing to console me.

Its weird to watch grief from the outside when experiencing it inside. As I watch a community grieve over a devastating murder of a young child, I can't help but get frustrated every time I open my facebook. First, a public media site is the last place to discuss your version of your neighbor's version of their friend's version of the story. I believe everyone has a right to their own opinion, but their choice of expression is doing far more harm than good. I'm also impressed with how much of the county has suddenly, overnight acquired a degree in law or 20 years experience in law enforcement. Its also fascinating how many people tell the story as if they were a fly on the wall of the victim's home. When I look out in to the social media world, I see a misled population that thinks they know the first thing about death, grief, investigations, and mourning. That's frustrating for me. I agree that this story deserves attention, but plastering theories and strange news articles is not appropriate. If you knew anything about how horrible rumors feel, you may think twice about what you entertain. If you knew anything about how awful it is to be in public and have people stare at you as if to say 'that's the girl that lost her husband', maybe you'd think twice. If you had any idea what it felt like to suddenly be 'that person' that no one knew a week earlier, you'd think twice. I'm beyond frustrated with the ignorance.